are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize