Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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