it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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