well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
4 words: hood of his car
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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