He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
