At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Randomize
