I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
