Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
