Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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