Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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