Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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