Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
