he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wear drunk well.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize