It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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