maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
