Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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