Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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