Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize