When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
