i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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