He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
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It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
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The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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