I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
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Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
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I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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