i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
