So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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