There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
