Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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