I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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