I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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