So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
