She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
