Christians are straight up FREAKS
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
