The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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