I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
