these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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