This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
