I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
