I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
