im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
