oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I didn't notice because vodka
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
