Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
