so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
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Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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