to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
