And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize