Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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