bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
