dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
