help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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