problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
