Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize