Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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