you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
