I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
