I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
