That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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