If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
