Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
