Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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