So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
