Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
