I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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