You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
