im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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