Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
