butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Randomize
