WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize