Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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