My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
