i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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