oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
