And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
